 |
 |
 |
 |
TAKE THE PLUNGE |
HIGH STAKES |
ON THE EDGE |
EXTENSION |
Mr Socks
Walking a Fine Line
Things are changing in my home as my child becomes a mini big person with puberty starting. She is growing up and has her own opinions about herself and her life.
I am finding that I have to be careful with what I say and how it is delivered. No more just telling her what to do, discussion and her input are important and required now.
This is particularly hard if it’s the end of a long day or week and we are all tired. Words can easily be misconstrued in a Nano second, and add hormones into the mix, and conversations can erupt into arguments at the drop of a hat over a seemingly small thing. Being rational is out the window and discussion can only be resumed after a good night’s sleep.
Relearning how to deal with my preteen is hard as I am quite upfront with my family. Being able to say what I want without it offending, or making sure that the situation doesn’t implode on us, can be difficult. It’s a team effort getting both the parents and the child onto the same page and making sure there isn’t the stomping of feet and slamming of doors, especially if the night’s topic is: Time Limits on Devices.
PIECES: On a Knife’s Edge, On Thin Ice and Walking a Fine Line.
Extension
During 2016-17 we had a lot of changes happening to our family with our child moving schools. Where once she was a big fish in a small pond, her new reality is being a small fish in a big pond.
It’s hard learning life experiences when they are not fun ones. Learning how to pick yourself up and continue on, even though the easiest solution in your mind would be to simply quit, run away or cry.
Part of preparing our daughter to the realities of life is being genuine with her and setting achievable goals - yes you are a good mid-field netball player but you are short (my gene pool – sorry) and the likelihood of you being chosen for the top Yr. 7 & 8 netball team is slim. However three netball trials later she was chosen for the third top team and we were all happy with this outcome.
We have helped build up her perseverance and resilience when things get hard and don’t go her way. During 2017 Torie faced her biggest personal challenge when she started training for Surf Life Saving under 14 years old Ocean’s Competition. There was a big step up into the Ocean’s age group. It was tough learning new board skills, and being small in stature didn’t help Torie when all of a sudden all her peers appeared to have grown a head taller than her. Being at the back of the pack during training wasn’t fun.
We just want her to know that as long as she gives new things a proper go and tries her best then this is all we can ask of her. I think if I had said to her half-way through the season that if she wanted to give up surf, she could, she would have said yes. But because Torie had chosen and wanted to do the Ocean’s Comp (and not her parents), she needed to follow through with her obligations. By the end of the season, and before we headed off to Ocean’s Competition in early 2018, she was attending four surf training sessions a week.
We knew she had worked hard and put in the hours with training but the thing holding her back was her mind, her mental game was off. We had seen it at the local surf carnivals. In the sand events she performed well, because she could do them they were easier for her, but with the water events it was a different story, she had psyched herself out before an event had even started. For a few weeks I became her sports psychologist with the help of the internet.
At Ocean’s, there were highs and lows. One Ocean’s event stands out in my mind as there was tension and anxiety (within me). Torie was in a team board relay and the last person to go out for her team. The coach had put the stronger girls ahead of Torie, the strategy being the team should be in a good position come Torie’s turn. Unfortunately that didn’t happen and Torie was the last person standing waiting to be tagged to go out. I was very anxious standing behind the line, all I was thinking was is she OK? Is she coping being in last place…? Once she was tagged and started to paddle out to the buoy, I could then go forward to the water’s edge and watch her return into shore on her board. There was the hugest smile on her face from ear to ear. She had a great paddle out and caught a strong wave into shore. The team came in second to last but that ride had cemented in her mind that she could do it. After that event I knew that Torie’s head space was OK.
In my short term role of being a personal sports psychologist, I found this quote which I liked and thought was very appropriate. ‘Your mind will quit a thousand times before your body does. Feel the fear and do it any way’.
PIECES: Extension, High Stakes, It’s a Long Way Up, On the Edge, Take the Plunge, Taking Grannie Steps and There is Only One Way – Forward.
Finding my Inner Yogi
I really look forward to my Monday mornings when I can momentarily close the door to my world. Once I step into the 9.30 am yoga class and am in the first set position, my mind goes arrhhh...
It's my self-imposed time out session from life and family where for an hour I can escape and come out feeling that my mind is balanced and body calm. I am not sure if the calmness is due to having someone telling me what I need to do, or not having to think about multiple things at once, or is it that my brain is able to switch off and rest for an hour?
I can’t do all the extreme poses and I’d like to be more flexible but it doesn’t matter - yoga is my refresh button. I really enjoy the session I go to and if I miss my Monday class my mind and body are not quite ready for my working week ahead.
PIECES: Balance & Control, Fortitude, It’s all About Balance.
