Control & Order
I am not in control of my life any more - other people and things are: my child, my home and my husband. It is a big juggling act for me being the primary caregiver, the stay-at-home "fifties style" wife (home cooked meals, baking and cleaning), as well as maintaining being an artist.
My life is orchestrated to ensure I have time for my work. Pre-Torie our lives were a lot simpler: more black and white. Adding a child into the mix has been frustrating at times with me adjusting to my new role. Realizing the realities of being a parent and wanting to provide the best that I can for my child, but at the same time feeling very guilty when I do feel resentful that the pecking order in our family has changed and life is not all about me anymore.
I have always enjoyed control and order in my life, it has enabled me to accomplish goals throughout my life. This trait has worked to my advantage with running our home now. The routine and planning in our lives means our world runs smoothly, which in turn provides me with the precious time to create, and for my husband this means a happy wife and a happy life for him.
Even though the control freak in me enjoys being orderly and structured, five percent of me deep down inside is a sloth, and every once in a while the sloth in me gets fed up and tired of being such a completely crazed organizational freak trying to be a super-mum doing it all. Sometimes I would just like to read a book from cover to cover and close the door to the role of being mother and wife for a day.
It’s a double-edged sword having order in our lives to ensure I have time to sculpt but I know if I didn’t then the time to create just wouldn’t happen. Every now and then I get annoyed that it’s me and not my husband making all the adjustments to ensure that the home fires at our place burn brightly and smoothly.
On the upside of becoming a mother, this has provided me with a wealth of material to draw on. The works in this exhibition have allowed me to vent some of my frustrations of being a stay-at-home mother and wife, and the anguish of not being in the driver’s seat of my life anymore.
The milk bottle represents: providing for my child, her nurture and development.
The pegs are a symbol of my "Domestic bliss @ home"
The corkscrews represent: A demon glass of wine at the end of a tough day.
The ruler is a symbol of being/feeling judged by others on my parenting style.
The hand is a symbol of me.
Please Note: No next of kin of the above-mentioned artist were harmed in any form in conjunction with, or in any part (or parts) of the making or creation of this exhibition.
Divide & Conquer & Pecking Order
Becoming a parent “ All I can say is nothing prepared me for it”. The change has meant that my position in the family’s pecking order has moved from first to last, and I am no longer allowed to think about myself.
When a bad day comes a long not only do I internally measure my own performance as a new mum, but sometimes I do feel the wrath of being judged by the outside world – be it imagined or real.
On the upside of becoming a parent, it has provided me with a lot of material for new pieces. But it has also made me feel frustrated, angry, trapped and ecstatic all in the same day, as I juggle the roles of mother & artist.
